UnShaded Revelations

Discovering Gratitude and God’s Faithfulness in Every Season

The holiday season, in recent years, has carried a special kind of weight for me…a mix of joy, longing, and reflection. Since my divorce, holidays, especially the ones so rooted in family traditions, have been a source of complexity. My heart often aches for what I deeply desire: a marriage, more children, and the fullness of family that I’ve always envisioned. It’s easy for that ache to overshadow the season’s joy.

But one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in this season of life is that joy doesn’t always look the way we expect. For me, joy comes alive in the sparkle of Christmas through my son’s eyes. Watching his pure excitement and wonder on Christmas morning—his laughter, the way he tears into his gifts, the warmth in his hugs—makes everything worth it. His joy reminds me of the simple beauty still present in my life, even when it feels incomplete.

The Complexity of the Holidays

As much as I try to focus on the joy, the holidays remain emotionally complex for me. My family dynamic has shifted so much over the past few years. I’ve navigated distance from the man I once knew as my father and his side of the family. My maternal side is small, so our gatherings are limited. My biological father’s family, who live in Chicago, feels like a connection just out of reach.

And then there’s the lingering thought: What if he were still alive? What would it feel like to have him here? These questions often deepen my longing for family and what I feel is missing.

Yet, even in the midst of these feelings, God shows up. In the moments when the loneliness feels heaviest, His peace finds me. It’s not a peace that takes away the ache but one that gently reminds me: You are never truly alone.

Finding Joy in the Small Moments

That peace has taught me to look for joy in the little things—the everyday moments that might otherwise go unnoticed. Recently, I found it sitting in the car with my son. He was being his silly self, and we just laughed—big, heart-filling laughs. It was a moment of pure connection, one that reminded me of the good right in front of me.

Defining joy has changed for me over time. It used to feel like a grand destination, a state of perfection to achieve. But now, joy feels more like contentment—learning to breathe in the moments of grace that God gives us, even when life doesn’t look like the picture I had painted in my mind.

Encouragement for Others

If you’re feeling the weight of unmet expectations or the sting of loneliness this holiday season, I want to remind you: You’re allowed to feel what you feel. Sit with those emotions, process them, but don’t let them keep you from moving forward.

Instead, look for the moments of joy that God places in your path. Surround yourself with people who love you, even if your circle feels smaller than you’d hoped. Be honest with those you trust—about your struggles, your feelings, and your hopes.

And when the unmet expectations start to cloud your heart, try shifting your focus to God’s faithfulness. Look back on the moments when He carried you, the promises He fulfilled, and the unexpected blessings He’s placed in your life. His faithfulness remains, even when life doesn’t align with our plans.

Romans 8:28 reminds us: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Even in seasons that feel broken, God is weaving something good. And as Psalm 46:1-3 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”

A Call to Action

As you navigate this season, take a moment to reflect on the small, unexpected blessings in your life. Maybe it’s a kind word, a moment of laughter, or simply the strength to keep going. Write them down and thank God for His faithfulness.

A Closing Prayer

God, as we enter this holiday season, help us to find joy in the places we least expect it. Teach us to see the beauty in small blessings, to feel Your peace in moments of loneliness, and to trust in Your faithfulness. Remind us that joy isn’t about perfection—it’s about Your presence. Strengthen our hearts, Lord, and let us reflect Your light to those around us.

Amen.

Grace & Love,

Chels