UnShaded Revelations

Never did I think I’d ever be here.

A 31 year-old mother and divorcée to be. An instant single mother…raising my 6 month-old son in a broken home. A statistic…I’ve now become the stereotype; after all I did, not to be here…and it didn’t work.

Things hadn’t been picture perfect for my husband and I for a while, but what happened in our house, stayed in our house. The arguments we had were typical…nothing differing from any other couple…the difference I believe is how we handled it…I won’t villainize my husband and say I did everything right. There were many things we dealt with as a couple no one knew about (and still don’t) to protect our house and our marriage. I did what I thought a wife was supposed to do and I still ended up here.

How?

Normally, I’m able to answer my own question, but this time I have no answers.  I have no clear understanding.

So here I sit…lost in my own thoughts…preparing to end this chapter…getting ready to begin a new one…

All things are done for purpose and I know eventually I’ll understand it…I wish I knew what lies on the other side of this, but until then I’ll just trust God.

January 1,  2017

The above post was written November 2016.  I was completely lost.  My husband and I had separated (were headed toward divorce), I had a 6 month old to take care of by myself , and I felt I was alone and on my own.  I had friends and family (including my husband)  ready, willing and able to step in at a moment’s notice, but I didn’t want to HAVE to depend on anyone. (Don’t misunderstand, I’m grateful, but I didn’t want to become anyone else’s burden).

Things are slightly clearer now; the newness of everything has subsided and I’m able to see/understand things better than before.  Although, we’re still going through the process of divorce, my husband and I have become awesome co-parents and friends.. He is an awesome father to our son and does what he can to assist in raising and providing for him; and for that I’m grateful. I’ve come to realize in the last few months,  two people can love each other immensely and the relationship just not work. It takes much MORE than love to sustain a marriage, but I digress.

This journey is very different than any other I’ve embarked on.  My blog is taking a slightly different direction, due to this new chapter (newly divorced, motherhood, and being single again).  I pray that whatever He gives me to share or allows me to share is a blessing to those who read.  I realize this won’t be an easy journey; I pray with God’s help I’m able to learn and help someone else. I can’t promise a weekly or even a monthly post, but I can promise to share my journey with you.

I find comfort in two scriptures:

Jeremiah 29:11 –  For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Romans 8:28 –  And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

In essence, I’m good, because I trust God and His plan.  

Pray for me as I pray for you.

Lady C