UnShaded Revelations

The downward cycle of seeking love began long before these pictures were taken.  From the age of 17 until about 23/24, I dealt in and with several things.  While I wasn’t the most outlandish child/teenager there were things I wish someone would have taken the time to tell me. 

Dear Chelsyea,

No one would ever know, but you’re struggling with who you are.  Yes, I know…you’re the studious college student who does all she can to please her mother and grandmother.  That’s not the part I’m referring to…you’re struggling with who God has called you to be.  You’ve done your best to fit in, but something just doesn’t feel right…you’re not the clubber and you’re somewhat uncomfortable in the club, yet you find yourself in the club with everyone else, because that’s the thing to do…You’re dating, {{let’s be honest}}, sleeping with one of THE WELL-KNOWN guys on campus, but something still doesn’t feel right…You understand that fornicating is a sin, but that’s the thing to do, so you do it…You allow older “Godly” men to speak to you in demeaning, sexual tones, not because you want the attention from them, but for fear of rocking the boat because of positions they hold. 

You’re seeking love and attention, but baby you’re looking in ALL the wrong places.  “Seek ye first the Kingdom” – in seeking the Kingdom first, I guarantee all things will fall into place. Even in all of the seeking approval, attention, and love…God hasn’t left you.  That “something” that doesn’t feel right is Christ within you.  He’s always there.  So sweetheart turn inward…seek Him…what you’re looking for, you won’t find in any of the things you’re losing yourself in.  You’re called to a greater purpose than to JUST be someone’s side chick, extra-marital affair, or FWB.  While it hurts now, understand all these experiences are shaping you for the future, so you can carry out your purpose in empowering women: giving hope to the hopeless and love to the loveless.  

Even after your college graduation, you will still feel unfulfilled. One of your greatest fears will be that you’ll fail at life, but I’m here to tell you, you’ll be stressing for nothing.  You’ll fall in and out of love (and lust), but you’ll be okay.  You’ll learn that love isn’t always cupcakes and roses; that it takes work to make relationships grow.  You’ll, also, learn that every person that tells you they love you, doesn’t.  

You’re going to MAKE IT. You will walk in purpose on purpose.  You will heal from past hurts and mistakes; READY to help the next woman through her struggle. God’s grace will help you walk in your truth. 

Don’t GIVE UP.  You’re ALMOST THERE. Keep PUSHING.