Have you ever felt like you were living life in a fish bowl? Or do you currently feel that way? Like your every move is/was being watched? And the moment you made a mistake or did something others deemed wrong; you became topic of discussion?
Welcome to the current story of my life…where somehow my life has become the business of everyone else…
A car ride to work in the Fall of 2013, it all came crashing down on me: I began crying while venting on the phone with a friend…
- “Why is everything I do blown out of proportion? Why is it people feel they can say WHATEVER they want to my husband (and me) and we’re just supposed to take it? Or when we do respond, our Christianity is questioned. WHY?”
I had only been married two or three months, at the time. My new church family was just getting to know me and my crazy facial expressions (to know me is to love me and my facial expressions).
It wasn’t until I married my husband that I realized how petty, sensitive, and child-like most adults are. People, church folk mainly, have this idea that when you’re elevated to other positions; you’re no longer human; that you shouldn’t have humanly responses (anger, hurt, sadness, etc.). I understand I should be cautious about how I respond (others should, also, exercise much more caution when speaking).
Just as you would get upset if someone was speaking negatively about your mate, remember that’s my mate…What if I chose to speak condescendingly to you? What would be your response? I’m pretty positive it wouldn’t be the one you’d expect me to have.
As a result of the constant ridicule or backlash from things I’ve said being taken out of context, I’ve found myself hiding my “true” thoughts and opinions. The danger in hiding your feelings or suppressing them is you become a ticking time bomb…ready…1…to…2…blow…unexpect…d BOOOOOM!! -ly. When you do explode, its never to the ones that really caused it, but most times it’s loved ones (friends/family) that receive the brunt of it. Unfortunately, its happened to me…my husband…and many others we’ve come in contact with.
How do you deal with the constant criticism and ridicule? Now Chelsyea would say address it head on, show them where they had you completely messed up and explain to them how they can fix it…(y’all He’s yet working on me lol)…NO, but seriously,
- PRAY and ask God how to handle it; each situation may call for a different approach.
- WAIT for an answer before you move; oftentimes, we pray and move prematurely. The danger in doing so is a situation that could’ve remained minute has grown to a ginormous size, because you were impatient…(I’ve been here and done this TOOOOOOO many times)
- RELEASE – Find an outlet…get a circle of people you can vent to and be free to be YOU, be human…and let all of the hurt, anger, pain, and sadness go! Don’t wallow in the emotions, because that’s just as detrimental.
- Also surround yourself with those you can glean from; those that can provide wisdom.
Psalm 34:19 – Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers them out of them all.
Remember, in the last post we learned to Trust God; well that’s all this scripture is saying: Trust God to deliver you from your afflictions, whether it be people or circumstances. He always has our back and wants the best for us.
2 Corinthians 12:10 – For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
It truly gets hard, at times, because you want everyone to see the REAL you, to understand that you’re only human, you have feelings, you’re not a robot…The same things that affect them, affect you.
Understand that it won’t always happen that way and that it won’t always be like this…so in the meantime…
PRAY, WAIT, RELEASE!
**To those that are reading this, because I know you are, that have those unspoken, unrealistic views of others (especially those in ministry), please remember that your Pastor, his wife, your ministry leaders are ALL still human. We hurt, we get angry, we have bad days…just because our position in ministry has changed, does not mean that we don’t experience the effects of life. Be compassionate. Be empathetic, but most of all, Be PRAYERFUL.
-Lady CMJ
© Chelsyea Jackson and UnShaded Revelations, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Chelsyea Jackson and UnShaded Revelations with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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